Disappointing Affirmations hilariously counters the culture of relentless toxic positivity with a realistic take on a disappointing world where failure is always an option, but that's okay. From the creator of the wildly popular Instagram account @disappointingaffirmations. USA Today Bestseller Pairing lovely vacation photos taken by the author himself with sayings that are amusingly self-critical, encouraging, disillusioned, or all three at once, Tarnowski points to feelings commonly unacknowledged or hidden and spotlights them with humor, wit, and empathy. You can do it! But you probably won't. But also: Be kind to yourself, asshole. Transforming and re-envisioning the material for print while adding tons of new work, this is the funny-because-it's-true, sneaky self-help gift book for anyone who isn't happy all the time and doesn't feel seen in the whole "positive mental attitude" culture. Unfollow your dreams! Like a non-disappointing gift with purchase, the book's jacket folds out into a motivational poster , suitable for display anywhere disappointment may strike. IT REALLY IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY: People say, "It's okay to not be okay," but then it feels like they need you to be okay. This subversively funny book is the perfect way to remind ourselves, or anyone who needs it, that it's better to deal with our feelings honestly than fall into the "positive vibes only" self-help trap. COMEDY FOR A NEW ERA: Wellness has been slowly taking a darker turn in popular culture, and comedy is no exception. From Inside by Bo Burnham to the absurdity of TV giant Succession, audiences are drawn to media that embraces discomfort rather than drowning it out. Disappointing Affirmations may not look very comforting, but not all self-care comes in the form of warm hugs and sunrise yoga. FOR HUMOR BOOK FANS: Seeking a gift for the anti-optimist in your life? This one fits the bill for fans of satirical doom classics and self-help antidotes such as All My Friends Are Dead, Am I Overthinking This?, the Worst Case Scenario series, and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. WAIT, THERE'S MORE!: See also the follow-up book, Sorry in advance for making things weird., and accompanying stationery and gift items, including Disappointing Affirmations Deck, Wall Calendar, Pencils, 30 Postcards set, Sticker Book, and Disappointing Affirmations: The Game. You won't be disappointed. Perfect for: College grads, people entering the workforce, people who wish they hadn't entered the workforce Fans of the @disappointingaffirmations Instagram account Anyone who isn't always cheerful and doesn't feel seen Fans of satire and sarcastic humor Anyone feeling burnout, empathy fatigue, positivity fatigue, or fatigue in general Gift-giving for Father's Day, Mother's Day, birthdays, breakups, gratitude-averse Thanksgiving hosts, or funny stocking stuffers

Collected Works 1917-1924 include all the short stories and novellas of H.P. Lovecraft published between 1917 and 1924. Howard Phillips Lovecraft (August 20, 1890 - March 15, 1937) was an American writer of weird fiction and horror fiction, who is known for his creation of what became the Cthulhu Mythos. Born in Providence, Rhode Island, Lovecraft spent most of his life within New England. He was born into affluence, which ended with the death of his grandfather. In 1913, he wrote a critical letter to a pulp magazine that ultimately led to his involvement in pulp fiction. During the interwar period, he wrote and published stories that focused on his interpretation of humanity's place in the universe. In his view, humanity was an unimportant part of an uncaring cosmos that could be swept away at any moment. These stories also included fantastic elements that represented the perceived fragility of anthropocentrism. Lovecraft was at the center of a wider body of authors known as The Lovecraft Circle. This group wrote stories that frequently shared details between them. He was also a prolific writer of letters. He maintained a correspondence with several different authors and literary proteges. According to some estimates, he wrote approximately 100,000 letters over the course of his lifetime. In these letters, he discussed his worldview and his daily life, and tutored younger authors, such as August Derleth, Donald Wandrei, and Robert Bloch. Throughout his adult life, Lovecraft was never able to support himself from earnings as an author and editor. He was virtually unknown during his lifetime and was almost exclusively published in pulp magazines before he died in poverty at the age of 46, but is now regarded as one of the most significant 20th-century authors of supernatural horror fiction. Among his most celebrated tales are The Call of Cthulhu, The Rats in the Walls, At the Mountains of Madness, The Shadow over Innsmouth, and The Shadow Out of Time. His writings are the basis of the Cthulhu Mythos, which has inspired a large body of pastiches, games, music and other media drawing on Lovecraft's characters, setting and themes, constituting a wider subgenre known as Lovecraftian horror. Included in this collection: 1. A Reminiscence of Dr. Samuel Johnson (1917) 2. Beyond the Wall of Sleep (1919) 3. Dagon (1919) 4. The White Ship (1919) 5. The Statement of Randolph Carter (1920) 6. The Doom that Came to Sarnath (1920) 7. The Cats of Ulthar (1920) 8. Nyarlathotep (1920) 9. Polaris (1920) 10. The Street (1920) 11. Ex Oblivione (1921) 12. Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and His Family (1921) 13. The Terrible Old Man (1921) 14. The Picture in the House (1921) 15. The Tree (1921) 16. The Nameless City (1921) 17. The Tomb (1922) 18. The Music of Erich Zann (1922) 19. Celephaïs (1922) 20. Herbert West - Reanimator (1922) 21. The Lurking Fear (1923) 22. Memory (1923) 23. Hypnos (1923) 24. What the Moon Brings (1923) 25. The Hound (1924) 26. The Rats in the Walls (1924)

CONTENTS: 01. A Suspicious Gift [Algernon Blackwood] 02. Skeleton Lake: An Episode in Camp [Algernon Blackwood] 03. The Wood of the Dead [Algernon Blackwood] 04. A Baby Tramp [Ambrose Bierce] 05. The Damned Thing [Ambrose Bierce] 06. Dagon [H.P Lovecraft] 07. The Horror of the Heights [Arthur Conan Doyle] 08. The_Descendant [H.P Lovecraft] 09. The Cats of Ulthar [H.P Lovecraft] 10. The Evil Clergyman [H.P Lovecraft] 11. He [H.P Lovecraft] 12.The Book [H.P Lovecraft] 13. In the Vault [H.P Lovecraft] 14. Nyarlathotep [H.P Lovecraft] 15. Death and the Woman [Gertrude Atherton] 16. The Striding Place [Gertrude Atherton] 17. Hop-Frog [Edgar Allan Poe] 18. The Raven [Edgar Allan Poe] 19. The Tell-Tale Heart [Edgar Allan Poe] 20. Shadow [Edgar Allan Poe] 21. The Beast in the Cave [H.P Lovecraft] 22. The Doom That Came to Sarnath [Lovecraft] 23. The Vampire Maid [Hume Nisbet] 24. A Tale of the Ragged Mountains [Poe] 25. The Demon Spell [Hume Nisbet] 26. Out of the Earth [Arthur Machen] 27. The Signal-Man [Charles Dickens] 28. The Colloquy of Monos and Una [Poe] 29. Demons of the Sea [William Hope Hodgson] 30. Glámir [Sabine Baring-Gould] 31. Colonel Halifax's Ghost Story [Sabine Baring-Gould] 32. Tales of Secret Egypt [Sax Rohmer] 33. Some Words with a Mummy [Poe] 34. In the Dark [Edith Nesbit] 35. The Sea Raiders [H. G. Wells] 36. The Baron of Beauguard [Gilbert Parke] 37. The Vampire [Jan Neruda] 38 .A Journey of Little Profit [John Buchan] 39. The Keeper of Cademuir [John Buchan] 40. Dickon the Devil [Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu] 41. The Child That Went With The Fairies [Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu] 42. Wicked Captain Walshawe, Of Wauling [Le Fanu] 43. Two Doctors Montague [Rhodes James] 44. A School Story Montague [Rhodes James] 45. The Diary of Mr. Poynter Montague[ Rhodes James] 46. In the Forest of Villefére by [Robert E. Howard] 47. The Dream Snake [Robert E. Howard] 48. The Thing On the Roof [Robert E. Howard] 49. The Imp of the Perverse [Poe] 50. The Devil in the Belfry [Poe] 51. The Crawling Chaos [Lovecraft] 52. Aunt Joanna [Sabine Baring-Gould] 53. The Outsider [Lovecraft] 54. The Hound [Lovecraft] 55. The Disinterment [Lovecraft] 56. The Horror At Martin's Beach [Lovecraft] 57. The Tree On The Hill [Lovecraft] 58. The Outgoing of The Tide [John Buchan] 59. The Curse of Yig [Lovecraft] 60. The Haunter Of The Dark [Lovecraft] 61. Berenice [Poe] 62. The Angel Of The Odd [Poe] 63. Black Ram [Baring-Gould] 64. The Cask Of Amontillado [Poe] 65. Dracula's Guest [Bram Stoker] 66. The Mother Of Pansies [Baring-Gould] 67. On The Leads [Baring-Gould] 68. McAlister [Baring-Gould] 69. Mustapha [Baring-Gould] 70. The Ghost and the Bone-setter [Le Fanu] 71. The Drunkard's Dream [Le Fanu] 72. The Novel of the White Powder [Arthur Machen] 73. The Merewigs [Baring-Gould] 74. Xélucha [Matthew Phipps Shiel] 75. Solange [ Alexandre Dumas] 76. The Fall of The House of Usher [Poe] 77. The Assignation [Poe] 78. The Thousand-and-Second Tale of Scheherazade [Poe] 79. Laura Silver Bell [Le Fanu] 80. Descent Into The Maelstrom [Poe] 81. The Power of Darkness [ Edith Nesbit] 82. An Authentic Narrative of A Haunted House [Le Fanu] 83. The Night Wire [H. F. Arnold] 84. The Dualists [Bram Stoker] 85. Stories of Lough Guir [Le Fanu] 86. The Vision of Tom Chuff [Le Fanu] 87. The Three Strangers [Thomas Hardy] 88. Crooken Sands [Bram Stoker] 89.The Cairn of the Headland [Robert E. Howard] 90. The Shining Pyramid [Arthur Machen] 91. Schalken The Painter [Le Fanu] 92. Hellhound Of The Cosmos [Clifford Donald Simak] 93. Ibid [Lovecraft] 94. The Grove Of Ashtaroth [John Buchan] 95. The Moon Bog [Lovecraft] 96. An Account of Some Strange Disturbances [Le Fanu] 97. Ultor De Lacy A Legend of Cappercullen [Le Fanu] 98. The Red Hand [Arthur Machen] Starts at Chapter 98 99. The Inmost Light [Arthur Machen] Starts at Chapter 100

The narrative is based on real events during the unification of Spain. Spain, led by Ferdinand the Second and Isabella of Castile, soared to the height of its power. The policy of the cunning king bore rich fruit. The whole country was taken away from the king of Portugal. By deceit the southern fiefdoms were cut off from France. The master of southern Europe and northern Africa he - King Ferdinand, or rather by his hands and the instruction of Isabella, brought out of slumber and made all-powerful "Manu interpida" - the Inquisition. And now this mechanism was bringing into the king's treasury, first one-third, and now more than two-thirds of all the confiscated goods. And henceforth no one, whether grandee, marquis, or prince, could feel safe. Forsaken, beware - they are coming for you! Young Merinda, who did not wish to become Esteban Junior's mistress, was thrown into prison. Esteban the elder - the second man after the king - so wished. The sentence is ready, all that is left is to disfigure the maiden and then burn her at the stake. But something goes wrong. Fernando, an incorruptible knight of the Hospitaller Order, is in charge of the case. An obvious lie, not proof of guilt. All turn against Fernando the Inquisitor. Fernando has no choice but to save the girl at the cost of his career and even his life. He flees from pursuit along with Merinda. The couple is put on the wanted list. Whoever shelters or helps the fugitives ends up behind bars himself. The new inquisitor hires an assassin to find and kill the fugitives without publicity. The former favourite of the King of Spain, the Countess of Alba, writes a letter to his Highness and admits that she bore his daughter in secret. She asks the King for help in finding her daughter who has disappeared. The King entrusts his confidant, the Marquis Diego, with the task. The Marquis finds the trail - the King and Countess´ daughter is none other than Merinda! The King dismisses the false accusation. But the Inquisition's Purgatory flywheel is unwound. Merinda and Fernando are driven into the mountains and their doom is certain. The pair stand on a precipice above a precipice. The crossbowmen have them in their sights. The Marquis gets there in time. He stops the execution. He untwists the chain of false witnesses. This leads him to plot against the king. He writes a letter to the king and sends it with a messenger. On the way the messenger stops for a drink of water and water for his horse. He is killed by an assassin hired by the Inquisition. He reads the letter and sells it to the conspirators. He then sells the information to the Marquis that the conspirators have intercepted the letter. The Marquis learns through his agents that Admiral Esteban and his goons have followed the trail of Merinda and Fernando and wish to kill everyone. The plot is averted. The King accepts a payoff from the repentant accomplices. It turns out the murderer is not dead from the poison, seeking a meeting with the Marquis for revenge. Such a moment arrives. The Marquis is stunned. A lung is punctured. Merinda dismisses the court physicians. She saves the Marquis´ life herself with the help of herbal infusions and extracts of mould. Merynda is slandered by the physicians as a sorceress. The Queen throws the young Countess into prison. The King himself is powerless against the Queen. Merinda´s death is imminent. But then, passing through the cheering crowd of the townspeople, the King is tried to be killed by his old hater. The wound seems trifling. But after twenty-four hours, the king is taken ill and falls into unconsciousness. The queen realises that the court physicians are powerless, and so are the prayers. She decides to enlist Merinda's help. Nothing is more important to the king's daughter than saving her father's life. Two weeks later, the king is back on his feet. The queen is pleased with the king's recovery, but still wants to get rid of Merinda...